Sorg

Sorg er den sterkeste av våre følelser og definisjon lyder slik: Sorg er de motstridende følelsene som skyldes en endring eller en slutt på et velkjent mønster. Det er med andre ord ikke bare død som forårsaker sorg. Her er noen eksempler på tap som kan føre til sorg:

  • Død
  • Ex partner som dør
  • Skilsmisse
  • Barndom og oppvekst
  • Sykdom
  • Sjokk og traumer
  • Å flytte
  • Barn som flytter ut eller reiser bort på skole
  • Få barn
  • Økonomiske problemer
  • Begynne på skolen
  • Forlovelse eller ekteskap
  • Slutt på misbruk eller avhengighet
  • Ferietid
  • Gå i pensjon
  • Juridiske vanskeligheter
  • Tap av deg selv

Mange er opplært til å løse utfordringer intellektuelt. Vi prøver å finne en forklaring på hvorfor vi reagerer slik vi gjør. På den måten vil sorg i flere tilfeller bli et stort problem. Å helbrede hjertet ved bruk av hodet er dømt til å mislykkes.

Vi lider alle våre tap, og det som er felles for alle som sørger er at de alltid ønsker å få det godt igjen. Smerten av ubearbeidet sorg samles opp og lagres på ulike plasser i kroppen. Ikke bare kan vi få stive og vonde muskler og ledd, magesår og migrene. Ubearbeidet sorg kan føre til livslang og negativ effekt på det å kjenne lykke. Bearbeiding av sorg handler om å finne de små ting som utgjør en stor forskjell.

Bearbeiding av sorg handler om å føle seg bedre.

Bearbeiding av sorg innebærer å ta kontroll over virkningen av det du opplevde i stedet for å la det du har opplevd ta kontroll over deg.

Bearbeiding innebærer at du som sørgende skal finne mening med livet uten å være redd for å bli såret igjen.

Bearbeiding handler om at du skal få tilgang på gode minner.

I bearbeiding av sorg er det viktig at du tillater deg selv å være trist og snakke om følelsene dine. 

Bearbeiding av sorg betyr at du innser at det er normalt og sunt å snakke om tap du har opplevd. 

For eksempel vil de som ikke bearbeider sin sorg være mer utsatt for å gjenta sine feil i nye relasjoner. Beslutninger tas basert på frykt og den sørgende er ekstremt årvåken for å beskytte seg mot lignende smerte som tidligere er opplevd. Det er trist at disse begrensningene med stor sannsynlighet vil dempe evnen til å være åpen, tillitsfull, leken og kjærlig.

Går du og bærer på sorg?

Da kan jeg på det varmeste anbefale Hanne, som er sertifisert veileder i sorgbearbeiding. Hun har en varm og åpen tilnærming til både mennesket og utfordringen. Les mer om arbeidet og hennes verdier på denne siden: http://confidentcoaching.no/

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Marit

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